| I was driving down Vine Street the other day and there was this homeless person sitting against the cemetery fence. I first saw her at about 7AM. I drove by several times that day and she was still sitting in the same place. The last time I saw her was around 3:30. Best I could tell, she never got up. I was a little worried she might be dead or something but I did see her move her head and hands. Anyway, seeing her sitting there quite literally all day, I had a range of thoughts:1) there has to be a better use of her time2) what kind of state of mind allows someone to just sit like that3) wow, what a waste4) part of me is jealous of that level of not caring5) what is she thinking about?6) as cars go by and don’t notice her, does she notice them? Honestly I kind of got a little obsessed for a few minutes. I should have stopped. I should have asked her these questions. I thought about it but then all the fears and anxieties came in– i don’t want to get yelled at or stabbed (totally unfounded, she looked completely harmless). I don’t really want to help, she doesn’t really want my help. If she wanted help, she wouldn’t just sit. etc, etc. I’m embarrassed that I didn’t help at all. I really do want to know what thoughts are in her head as she sits the day away. Is she reflecting back on better times, on worse times. Is she so troubled that her troubling thoughts scream in her head? Is her brain inundated with jealousy, spite, hatred? Or is it total freedom to not have anything else to do or worry about? I can honestly see both. Anyway, that’s my observation. No real insight or advice. Enjoy your week. |
