I have retyped this line 6 times now. I still don’t 100% know exactly how to say what I am trying to say. I have some really good people in my life that help me see things differently than I always have. I have really gone through life fairly sheltered, honestly. My parents are still together–46 years next month. My brother and his wife are high school sweethearts. Prior to about 6-7 years ago, I didn’t really know people that I was aware of how they struggled. I didn’t know many people that were “publicly” dealing with depression, anxiety, etc. I didn’t know many people that had committed suicide or overdosed. 

All this started to change when I went through a divorce. My ex-wife and I had been married for 13 years. Divorce was a huge crack in my rose colored glasses. And the funny part, I thought I was fairly “worldly”, open minded, etc. I was, I just never really put any experience with it. I wasn’t opposed to helping or being involved in “broken peoples'” lives, I just sheltered myself in my closed community. 

As my life fell apart, in true misery loves company style, I found other very broken people. I found that the “undesirables” were really great people that either made some mistakes or had mistakes made around them (or both). I found that some people recovered from the beatdown of life better than others. I found that some people ebbed and flowed more than others. I gained a fascination and true love for people. Beautiful, broken, crazy, complex, unpredictable–yet fully predictable–people. 

Life experience since then has grown my appreciation exponentially. I have people in my life–my wife, her family, my assistant, friends from CGB, other entrepreneurs, non-profit owners that serve the community, etc, etc.–that have expanded my view and colored in all the gray areas. They have helped me see that people are people and all are worthy of being valued. All are worthy of love, simply because they are people. They have helped me become significantly more empathetic, sympathetic and very slow to “judge”. 

10 years ago, I might have lectured you on “the reason for the season” and how it is a time of joy and you should be happy to be with family and spend that time. I still think that is important for me and for my family. I am very blessed. I know there are some people where this time of year is a living hell. They feel guilt, profound sadness, remorse, dread, anger, inadequacy and all kinds of other negative feelings. My mission is be sensitive to those feelings in others. To recognize that it is not joy for everyone. To allow others to feel those feelings without me piling on with a lecture. I don’t  have to mask my feelings, just acknowledge theirs and love them anyway. 

I encourage you to do the same. Instead of making this a time of joy only, make this a time of connection, healing, compassion.