| I know I have written on this before. But it seems like every day I run into yet another situation where it becomes even more critical to grasp. The words you use matter. Words have both connotation and denotation. Knowing that the dictionary definitions are the same or at least close is one thing. Understanding how people “take” the specific word is a totally different thing. This is the part that gets me in trouble all too often. I tend to focus on using words that get as close as possible to the definition I am trying to get across but I lose the feelings sometimes (yet, hypocritically, I have thin skin sometimes with the “feeling” of a word–especially from those closest to me). I knew someone once that was a mother. But if her husband told the kids to “talk to your mother” it would make her mad. Why? Because her estranged father weaponized the word “mother” when he would infrequently talk to her (your mother… with that snarky lift to it). That is a personal one. There’s also words that carry cultural connotations that work to change synonyms. Think about this one, the difference in these two sentences: We are building a house. We are building a home. It may be subtle but it is important. House is an object. Home is a concept. Some even change when you use them, the connotation changes with context: She had a cool demeanor with him for years after she found out about his lies. She was a cool person to hang out with. Or how about this one. Dude, that was crazy!! Dude, he was crazy! Finally, there are words that mean very similar things but are opposite in how they make you feel. Underling vs. employee or worker eager vs. impatient stench vs. odor lanky vs. slim vs. skinny vs. gaunt assertive vs. aggressive unique vs. peculiar vs. weird You get the idea. pay attention to the words you use. Don’t try to bland out your speech. Just have a firm grasp on not only the dictionary definition of things, but also the feelings your words evoke. Words are sharp and can cut the fat and get the point across. They can also cut to the bone and leave someone wounded. They can build towers in peoples’ minds and hearts and they can also destroy those towers. Be careful and be purposeful. |
