People like to talk about “kids these days” and how bad our society has gotten and we need better manners and such. It usually comes from someone older talking about the generation or two younger than them. I find it very difficult to honor assumptions about whole generations. I think there is a continuum amongst all generations for all kinds of traits. There is a kindness continuum, a generosity continuum, an education continuum, a tech-savviness continuum, a frugality continuum, etc. What I do think affects our culture now more than generational differences is a general disregard for others and an incredible amount of entitlement and self absorption. And it spans ALL generations. It is a culture-wide disease. Again, there is a continuum as far as each individual person is concerned but every age band, socio-economic band, sub-culture and ethnicity is on that continuum. It’s bad yall.

Here are some examples–

–went to a soccer tournament on Saturday at Siegel complex. Almost got hit twice by people speeding through an over crowded parking lot. Saw three different cars blatantly double parked in the same over full lot. 

–Grocery carts–there is a fascinating theory that posits the “goodness” of people based on what they do with their shopping carts after taking their purchases to the car (google it for a great rabbit hole). I don’t think it speaks to somoene’s “goodness” per se, more to their selfishness. I don’t want to return the cart and I don’t care if it is in your way, if the cart gets damaged or if the cart damages your car. My 30 seconds of effort is more important than any of that. Next time you are shopping, look around at the carts in the lot. I think you gain some insight into how selfish that area’s people are. One other interesting twist on this is that selfishness is contagious. If the lot has carts in it, more people will leave theirs. If it is free of carts, less people will leave theirs.

–Blocking intersections–man oh man is this getting bad. I think some of it is cluelessness. Probably caused by distracted driving–another selfish and entitled action. 

–Cell usage–speaker phone in public, distracted driving, stepping up to a point of sale and staying on a call, all of these lack etiquette and show that the people around you are not important to you. 

–being overly demanding of servers. I am aware of an incident at a recent high-dollar banquet where a guest dressed down a young server because he didn’t get his food fast enough. The servers were delivering plated dinners to tables after lining up to pick up trays of plates. There was a method–servers lined up, got a tray, took to a table, got back in line and got another tray, took to the next table. This guest let the server have it because the table next to him got their food before he did. The reason was that table was the beginning of a different server’s responsibility and the mean guy’s table was the end table of the other guy’s responsibility. The crazy part is that ALL plates were served within a total of 10 minutes!!!! Come on man. You are not more important than anyone else in the place. 

There are so many other examples. These are just the ones I’ve noted this week. My challenge to you is to realize you are not more important. You are not the center of things. You are not special. You are part of this society. So is the guy next to you. Take a moment to reflect on that. Take a moment to feel those implications. Take a moment to come to grips with the fact that you are not special. And then just be kind.