| Aren’t we all just looking for a place to belong? Norm had Cheers. Friends had the Central Perk. People look for belonging in all kinds of places. People find belonging in following bands, going to festivals, becoming a regular somewhere, joining alumni groups for their alma maters. Churches rely on a quest for belonging. So do gangs. I believe this sense is what causes people to marry. It may also be what causes them to cheat. Bottom line, people need connection. They need to belong somewhere, with someone (or someone’s), for a purpose. My daughter was telling me about a kid in her class (8th grade). He is that kid. You know the one. He is just weird. There is no other way to describe him. He is weird and all the kids know it. Not only do they know it, they pick on him incessantly. And he is super smart. And awkward. And just can’t seem to fit in. So he doesn’t. He is the outcast. He is the weird kid. As my daughter was telling me about him, I felt bad for him. I have had moments where I was him. It is a hopeless feeling. You try to fit in but you don’t seem capable. So you put up defenses and get angry. “If I can’t fit in, I will embrace being the outcast.” It is miserable though. It is demoralizing. I can relate and so I feel bad for him. Do you know that kid now? Did you know that kid then? Were you that kid? Are you now? We are meant to connect. When we see that kid (or adult), what do we do to provide a space to belong? Do we do anything? This isn’t a call to action, per se. This is a reminder. A reminder that people need each other. People need to belong and that belonging is created by other people. If you need a place to belong, don’t wait. Seek it out. It is too easy to find places now to not do it. If you already belong somewhere, who do you know that could benefit from that same place? Take care of yourself. And each other. |
