| Y’all I have a great wife–a great partner. During the last few weeks we’ve been a little snippy with each other and it is because I have done some selfish things. What makes her a great partner is that she is not afraid to tell me about it when it happens. She doesn’t (usually) let it build up and bother her secretly. She tells me when it is relevant. I love this because I don’t want to be selfish. I want to be a great partner for her and I sometimes mess that up. Some people would say in kind of a back handed way something like “You always know what Lici is thinking”. And not everyone means that in a complimentary way. Here’s the thing, I value her opinion tremendously. She wants me to be better. She wants me to treat her, our kids, others well. And I want to do that. But sometimes I am oblivious. Sometimes I am willfully ignorant out of selfishness. This is why we are good partners. She doesn’t abide that kind of behavior. And I don’t want her to have to. I would go so far as to say that everyone needs this kind of partner. Or at least a friend. Someone that is not afraid to tell you like it is. Not afraid to hurt your feelings in order to make you better. Not afraid that you might get mad or not like what he or she has to say. It’s good to have someone that checks your words and delivery. It’s good to have someone that you trust to help you do better. I am typing this in the car on the way back home from the Indy 500. My brother, my dad and I took my 18 year old (who is really into racing) and his buddy. It was a very quick trip but was totally worth it. Honestly it didn’t exactly fit in my schedule but I am so glad we did it. His face when they first went green was priceless. Some observations from the greatest specatcle in auto racing: 1) This is a big country. There were roughly 400,000 people at this track. The track is 2.5 miles long. We were within the track on the back straightaway and couldn’t see the rest of the track. There is a lake, a golf course (4 holes) a dirt track, a road course and more within the track. AND there is still grandstands in all 4 corners and down the front straight. It was massive. But it still is just one little place in one smaller city, in one of 50 states. 2) This is a diverse place. We had general admission tickets and sat on the grass with lots of other people. There were people of every kind of background there. Truly, one of the most diverse crowds I’ve ever been in. For a car race. It was pretty cool. 3) Even as big as this country is and as diverse as our people are, there are things that are universal. Spectacles bring people together. When people get together, they do the same things to celebrate, no matter the culture. They eat together, they drink together, the laugh and they touch (hug, kiss, shake hands, hand on a shoulder, etc). In other words, humans are humans. And certain things are universal. 4) Knowing these things makes a lot of our “problems” seem small if we would just recognize and celebrate the things that make us the same instead of obsessing on the things that make us different. We are more alike than we are different. So, this week, when you get frustrated with someone because of a philosophical or ideological difference, remember the things you likely have in common. Focus on those for a minute and try to reset your emotions. It will help you have clarity on how to be CONstructive instead of DEstructive. |
