| This is a topic I seem to write about a lot but dang, it is needed. This is something that seems to be missing more and more and more in our culture. And the lack of gratitude seems to seep into our actions, thoughts and words more easily than ever before. Growing up, I was always corrected for not saying “thank you”. My mom and dad made sure that anything I was given, I was at least outwardly thankful for. Whether it was a glass of water or a Christmas present, I said “thank you.” I have tried my best to keep that alive with my kids. But even when they are constantly reminded and given dirty looks, they don’t say it. Sometimes, I forget to say it. Why? Well, I think the answer starts with our mindset and self image. Do you think you are important enough for anyone to give you anything? Do you have an expectation that someone owes you something? Do you ever give things with the expectation to receive a favor in return? Do you ever try to leverage your status to open doors or get things done? Do you ever consider distinctions in people based on their job or circumstance vs. your own? All of these are mindset issues that get in the way of gratitude. I believe that gratitude starts with the simple idea that no one “owes” you something simply because you exist or because of “who you are.” Anything someone does for you or gives you is either because they are accommodating or because it is their job. Sometimes it is out of love or out of obligation. In all 4 of those situations, in my opinion, you should be grateful. Grateful that person exists, is willing and able to serve or give to you. Grateful to the owner of the business that employs that person. Grateful to the people that pay you enough to afford whatever the good or service is. Grateful to the family member or friend that thought enough of you to give you a gift of some sort. Grateful not just for the item or service but for the consideration, the sacrifice of that person’s time, treasure and brainspace. The reality is, you don’t “deserve” any of those last three things. They were willing to give them. Maybe in exchange for payment, maybe not. Maybe the payment is admiration and thanks. This email got into the weeds and the minutiae of gratitude. Here’s the bottom line. No one deserves to be served. No one owes you anything. You are not special compared to other people. If someone gives you a gift or service, gratitude is recognizing the sacrifice and genuinely being thankful for it AND telling them you are thankful. |
